Uber Fabulous Sephiroth
by Command76
Summary: The beginning of the Legacy of Uber Fabulous Sephiroth....


Über Fabulous Sephiroth

"Jenova, mother, you are so ugly, you disgrace me, God!!!" said a disgusted Sephiroth. "You test tube monster, you are so ugly, I should just pull the plug and kill you ugly bitch…"

Clink, the sound of knife scraping could be heard as a sword was plunged deep into Sephiroth's chest cavity. "You ungrateful little bastards don't know how to appreciate beauty." said an enraged Sephiroth who looked abhorrently at his perforated wound.

"You've ruined my beautiful perfect man body; I will kill you, you bastard."

The stabber continued to plunge his sword deeper into Sephiroth's chest, further rousing an already aggravated rather truculent Sephiroth. The stabber had ran off like the coward he is, inferior to Sephiroth, coward.

"It was you, you sent him to kill me, you jealous bitch" blasts Sephiroth his eyes squinting in fury as he had discovered Jenovas plot to make him ugly. Sephiroth loses his temperament and aggressively grabs the head of Jenova, yanking it right out of its body, ripping the wires that kept her life form in stasis. "I win bitch, you're still ugly, and now you don't have a head… I'm the best looking man alive and there's nothing you can do about it now because you're dead bitch."

Sephiroth then pulled out a hand mirror he had hidden in his blazer and began admiring himself and his fabulous features. Smiling and winking at times giggles with joyous affection as he looks at himself. He considers himself Über fabulous, the most handsome man alive, going far enough to hint that if there were a God, it would look like him.

"I'm so handsome I don't know how I live with such ugly creatures" he said sighing at his over-attractiveness and the ugliness of everything not Sephiroth. "If only I could clone myself, then at least I would be hanging with somebody worthy or my greatness.'

"Ek, gross" said Sephiroth who threw Jenova's unworthy head down the bottomless pit that Shinra had held it in. "Keep falling you disgrace to my perfection, fall for eternity for all I care, you don't even deserve to exist for you are a disgrace to my perfection."

He then looked at his chest in dismay, as he saw a gaping whole the stabber had managed to curse him with. Sephiroth, musamune in hand, had staggered to exit the facility, when he saw blood dripping off the edge of an oversized sword.

"You, you did this to me" said a flustered debased Sephorith. "You ruined my perfection, I will destroy you, you, you ugly wretch."

The stabber grabbed his buster sword, dripping with blood on its tip, and lunged himself on Sephiroth, who parried his strike, the swords clashing and creating massive sparks, leaving him dangling helplessly in the air. Sephiroth then with his superiority manhandled the stabber by tossing him into Jenova's lab with a twist of his masumune.

Sephiroth had a devilish grin on his face as he slowly, really slowly, meaning snaillike slowly approached the pathetic, cowardly, weak and inferior stabber. "You worthless excuse for a human being, I would have at least thought I'd be stabbed by someone more attractive. Uncover your visors; I like to see the faces of the men I kill."

Sephiroth then plunged his musamune into his stabbers chest, and thrusts his elongated sword deep into the stabbers chest. "Your stab was pathetic compared to my stab, my gracious, perfect delightful stabs, look at me when I'm talking to you, you wretch. You will enjoy this stab, for it is a blessing from me, the Über Fabulous Sephiroth."

"Über Fagulus" said a wounded man who lay helplessly on the steps heading into Jenova's lab.

"Fag," cough…cough…cough "Fag" cough….cough…cough…said the man currently being stabbed by Sephiroth's musamune.

"Queer-phiroth," said the helpless man on the stairs.

"No damnit, Über Fabulous Sephiroth, you wretches, you inferior species do not understand what it is like to be superior like myself, it is a quite lonesome feeling to know that you are better than everyone else," boasted Sephiroth.

The man Sephiroth had stabbed was deeply afflicted with pain, as his nerves would tremor and have intermediary seizures. He managed enough strength to pull off his visors and tiger gaze Sephiroth. His nimble and numb body debilitated, as all the nerves stopped sending messages to the receivers in his body.

Sephiroth looked at the man, agapes when he witnesses something he's never seen before in his life. His mind becoming raddled would buzz in astonishment. The visor slowly slides out of place to reveal the most beautiful blue eyes Sephiroth ever saw, immediately creating jealousy towards this perilous victim.

"Imp…o..ssi…ble" crackled Sephiroth. He stood in stun silence, completely enamored with what he saw. He could feel his heart bubble with affection, as its beat pounded swiftly; the muscles in his body became soft as he was mesmerized by what he saw. His envious look of affection quickly evaporating into a stern look of murderous intent "you are my equal in beauty and because of that you must die…What is your name, worthy man, I would like to remember it after I kill you… "

"Cloud….here's a fact, your more queer than Bruno, eat that for breakfast fag" pouted the stabber whose name was Cloud, he mustered enough strength to grab the musamunes sharp blades and lift them into the air, the blades slicing into his skin, and he then tossed Sephiroth against a wall in Jenova's lab. Thump…the noise of Sephiroth bashing against the wall was thunderous….

"This isn't over Cloud, Über Fabulous Sephiroth will strike again you, wretch, there can't be two beautiful people in Gaia, I will kill you and show you I am superior and more beautiful than you, you wretch……" said Sephiroth who would continue to ramble eventually being barely audible.

"Any day Queer-phiroth" rebuked Cloud.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------Author's Note (Thats me, the keyboard crusher, or command76 whichever you prefer, hehehe)~~~~~~~

This isn't actually the end, its a prequel to what may end up being a pretty strange story (literally, but amusing nonetheless).... Just depends on whether you guys like it or not.....It starts when Sephiroth discovers his origins, then it gets pretty strange right afterwards....Don't be upset at the striking resemblence to Crisis Core, because it was written as a kind of parody of it, I haven't quite dove into full details, this is a prequal afterall....

Also, I have nothing against gays and am a big fan of sephiroth... I just wanted to write a parody of him....It will get pretty wierd though...


End file.
